However compassionate an alternative, polyamory still operates and is rooted in a racist society.
The things that make monogamous dating daunting for people of color—shaming and exclusion by white partners, being fetishized, having realities of everyday racism ignored—occur in polyamorous relationships too, but are often exacerbated by societal misconceptions of polyamory as a game of “collecting” different kinds of lovers.
Whether you’re a community leader or you just like to date a lot, this is an invaluable tool for creating a more inclusive polyamory. These conversations can be difficult and (if we’re being honest) self-incriminating. But they are necessary for us to build a better alternative.
Love’s Not Color Blind puts forward the framework—through research, anecdotal testimony, and analogy—for understanding, identifying, and ultimately confronting the manifestations of racism within polyamorous communities.
- Published 2018; Thornthree Press
- Paperback, 184 pages
Kevin A. Patterson, M.Ed.,has been practicing ethical nonmonogamy for 15 years and is an active member of the Philadelphia polyamory community. He is the creator of the Poly Role Models project, an interview series that serves as a platform for the diversity of our relationship structures and the people within them to shine through.
